A Friend Always, Eh?

Something struck me today. The realisation of a certain truth. That being, to You, I'll only always remain as a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. I should have resigned myself to this fate sometime back. But knowing myself, I couldn't have done so without putting up a fight. However, right now, I'm too tired, having exhausted every avenue of strength that I had within me. I can't go on like this anymore. I'm too tired to hope and dream. Or rather, too afraid to hope and dream any longer. I've been living in this false "reality" I've created for myself for far too long. I once thought that I could make a difference, I could be someone whom you really need, I could be someone you'd turn to first in your times of need. But no, I can't. I don't have the power nor the capability to displace the one You already have. But I thank You, for being gracious enough to show and make me realise.

Today I resign myself to this fate. This fate of always only being a friend to You. Nothing more, nothing less.

L for Love, L for Lies

After all this time, I realised something. I have to keep telling myself lies each day, so that I will still be able to love You. When reality breaks through my world of lies, I'm faced with a feeling. One that I can't quite describe, except to say that it feels like someone is strangling my heart. It hurts..

When will the lies stop? When will I allow myself to stop telling lies?