Cut Up

You cut me up, like always. It hurts. Curse those images, for they stab at my heart like a thousand needles. Even falls and tumbles didn't hurt this much. I wonder why. Is it You? Is it me? I'm too naive. Too naive.

After Love

After Love
Five Treasure Island

I thought you were my love
I thought you were my everything
I believed that it was you who would be my last love
I smile only for you
I live only for you
I was happy and believed in your love


*Everything's a lie, it's all a lie
Your love is all a lie
Because I'm hurting like this
Because you hurt me like this
It's a love that causes tears
You'll only love me, you'll protect only me
Your love is all a lie
You took my whole heart
You even took all my love
It's a love that leaves


One person receives love
One person gives love
Like a fool, I believed you were that person


*Chorus


The words of love are all a lie
The words "I love you" are a lie too
The words of forever are a lie as well
Only your promise to return is left
Where are you? (You're always so far away)
Wherever you are, however far you are
You're still the only one I love


Please try to come back, come back to me
I can't love another
Even though I'm hurting like this
Even though you hurt me
I wait only for you
Everything's a lie, it's all a lie
Our breakup is all a lie
Because you're the one I love
Because you're my everything
I wait only for you

Beyond The Shroud..

Beyond the shroud I've placed in my heart..

I know..
I know the truth..
I know the answer..

Three Six Five later..

Do You still remember this exact date 365 days ago?
I still remember.

Do You still remember the words we exchanged that night?
I still remember.

Do You still remember the events that followed that fateful night?
I still remember.

The memories remain vivid within my mind. I still remember the precious words you said. I still remember that feeling of my heart racing. I still remember the feeling I had when You left for Minnesota.

365 ago, we laid beside each other, feeling very much in love.
365 later, I'm back at the same spot, reminiscing that very night.

365 ago, You said You wanted to hug me.
365 later, I'm still yearning for that hug You promised.

365 ago, I was waiting for You.
365 later, I'm still waiting for You.



After the 365 has passed,

You are still You. I am still me.

But we are no longer we. Not yet.

Help..

Help.

I need help. Help me.. I'm losing control.

A frightening realisation, the horror of what I might become.

An implosion awaits me at this rate; Self-destruction.

I don't want to walk down the same road. Not again.

I need a doctor.

Help.

Locked Away..

I locked it all up.

And I threw the key into the vast ocean.

I stand, watching the key sink into the watery depths.

The pouring rain hide the tears.

The rushing waves hide the cries.

What a perfect storm, what a perfect storm.

The Meaning of Me

I no longer know what "me" means to You. All that lies between us now is a book. Sad, the way things turned out.

The Last Stop

I'm riding the train. The announcement in the train goes, "Ding dong ding dong.. Last Stop, Rock Bottom." I will be arriving soon..

只能抱着你

只能抱着你
光良，梁静茹

梁: 好想这样抱着你, 我知道你有些在意.
给他伤了心, 才想到可以找你.
光: 好想这样抱着你, 我知道你现在伤心.
想有人陪你, 只是如此而已.

你知道, 我明了.
抱着你, 我 (你) 的泪, 却为他而掉.
你知道, 我明了, 抱着你, 温习拥抱.
你知道, 我明了, 抱着你, 我的心有些动摇.
你有的好 (他有的好), 他 (我) 做不到 ,
还想他 (也许他), 可能等我回家 (等你回家),
在我们 (你们) 相识的楼下.
还想他 (也许他), 可能拨我电话 (拨你电话) 留话.
还爱他 (你爱他), 我从没怀疑过 (没怀疑过),
今晚心底的挣扎, 我不说你明白吗?

只能这样抱着你, 我知道你有些在意,
给他伤了心, 才想到可以找你.
只能这样抱着你, 我知道你现在伤心,
想有人陪你, 只是如此而已.


Falling tears, heartfelt lyrics. It couldn't have been expressed better, it just couldn't have been..

Yet Another Weird Dream

I've been having the oddest of dreams. The funny thing is that I don't know what to make out of the dream. Hope I stop having that dream, because it's starting to make me depressed.

勇气

勇气
光良

终于做了这个决定
别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定
我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易
我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃

爱真的需要勇气
来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定
我的爱就有意义
我们都需要勇气
去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你
放在我手心里 你的真心

如果我的坚强任性
会不小心伤害了你
你能不能温柔提醒
我虽然心太急
更害怕错过你

爱真的需要勇气
来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定
我的爱就有意义
我们都需要勇气
去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你
放在我手心里 你的真心

Broken..

Some things, once broken, can't be mended..

Fly Away

Fly Away
Corrinne May

"When will you be home?" she asks
as we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer
to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as I crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleeds
and yet she says to me

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Autumn leaves fell into spring time and
Silver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying
"We need you. Please come back."
When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flight
I held her as I cried

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

If You Didn't Love Me

If You Didn't Love Me
Corrinne May

If every drop of water disappeared from the land
And every drop of ocean suddenly turned to sand
That would all be nothing
Compared to what I'd feel
If you didn't love me

What if I woke up and couldn't hear a sound
And all that I could see was darkness all around
That would still be nothing
Compared to what I'd feel
If you didn't love me

If I could have the world and all that money could buy
And I could travel far beyond the moon and the day
If they gave me golden wings,
well I still couldn't fly
without you, nothing would matter

You and I walk beside each other day after day
But there's so much inside me, I never get to say
My life would be so empty
with nothing left to feel
If you didn't love me
If you didn't love me

Not This, But Not That Either..

I might not be second. But, I'm not the first either..

The Answer

I've finally heard the answer for myself. The answer that I couldn't quite bring myself to accept before. A fool perhaps.. For not being able to accept it the first time round? A fool perhaps.. For thinking that my presence could change some things? A fool perhaps.. For thinking too highly of myself? But I know, whatever it is, a fool I am.

Ouch.. this hurts. Badly. The pain brings me to the brink of taking a gun, pointing it at my head and pulling the trigger with no regrets. Ouch. I don't want to fall into another endless spiral of suicidal thoughts. Not again. Ouch. If only I could live on without a heart, I'd gladly do so right now. Ouch..

Withering Away, Slowly..

Love. It's a word that I can hardly believe in. It's a word that I don't dare to believe in. If You were the one to have showed me Love, how could You have been so cruel as to take it away from me? Tears still stream down my face like the rain on the morning of Spring. Like a flower that withers away slowly after the beauty of Spring has long passed, so does my heart. With each passing day, my heart loses its colour, its beauty and its spirit. As hard as I try to keep it alive, as much as I try to have faith and hope, it still withers away, turning into dust slowly.

I pray You will save my heart in time. I pray that You help me believe again in love, once more. I pray You are the one.

Antidote

每天这样过着，真的好辛苦。难道爱情真的超越不了一切吗？难道你对我，真的就那么没有信心吗？ 这种思念，这种痛苦，会有解药吗？真的好需要，一种解脱。真的好需要你。我的解药就是你。

我好想你。。

A Friend Always, Eh?

Something struck me today. The realisation of a certain truth. That being, to You, I'll only always remain as a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. I should have resigned myself to this fate sometime back. But knowing myself, I couldn't have done so without putting up a fight. However, right now, I'm too tired, having exhausted every avenue of strength that I had within me. I can't go on like this anymore. I'm too tired to hope and dream. Or rather, too afraid to hope and dream any longer. I've been living in this false "reality" I've created for myself for far too long. I once thought that I could make a difference, I could be someone whom you really need, I could be someone you'd turn to first in your times of need. But no, I can't. I don't have the power nor the capability to displace the one You already have. But I thank You, for being gracious enough to show and make me realise.

Today I resign myself to this fate. This fate of always only being a friend to You. Nothing more, nothing less.

L for Love, L for Lies

After all this time, I realised something. I have to keep telling myself lies each day, so that I will still be able to love You. When reality breaks through my world of lies, I'm faced with a feeling. One that I can't quite describe, except to say that it feels like someone is strangling my heart. It hurts..

When will the lies stop? When will I allow myself to stop telling lies?

If Only..

If only, I could live on without a heart.

If only, I could live on without pain.

I'd gladly give up all the happiness that I would have, in exchange to stop feeling the pain.

It is times like this when I wished I had died back then.

Hush now

Hush now, my heart. Stop beating now. It hurts so much because you still beat and yearn for.

Hush now, my heart. Stop beating like you used to. It will not hurt anymore and all might be ok, once again.

Hush now, my heart. Forget the joy that gave you the energy to beat with life. Find peace in solitude and tears will no longer fall.

Hush now, my heart. Rest now, my heart. In the peace of solitude.

Echo

Echo
Shin Hye Sung

I didn't know that you were hurting because I loved so inadequately
Being foolish and selfish, I must have made it too difficult for you
I didn't know it at the time that the love you gave me was my everything

For me, you are the only one. For me, there is only you.
Although I am regretting the days that are irreparable
Saying that you can't see me once more and that we can't be anymore
You pushed me away so cold-heartedly, but I miss you so much.

The words I couldn't say to you are left and are still packed tightly in my heart
If I could see you even for just once, I want to hold you

For me, you are the only one. For me, there is only you.
Although I am regretting the days that are irreparable
Saying that you can't see me once more and that we can't be anymore
You pushed me away so cold-heartedly, but I miss you so much.

I can wait. Just for you.
Even for forever.

For you, there was only pain. Only things I've given you are the scars.
Even though I am tearing up in regrets, I still love you
I don't think I can overcome any more sad separations
Although it was me who was so inadequate, but I love you

I love you

Fairytales Are Lies

Even after all I've done, even after I've tried my hardest, tried my best, this is still how it ends. There are no fairytale endings in this world. I won't believe in love again, ever again.

Glad

I'm glad. For a few reasons. Glad that You thought about us. Glad that You wanted to think about us. Glad that You gave me hope, no matter how little it might be. Thank You. I really mean it.

The Forgotten One

It's been awhile since we talked. It's not really long but it does seem long to me. I've sent at least half a dozen smses to You. Haven't gotten a reply from You at all. Is it that hard to just reply once or twice? Have You forgotten about me already? Is this how important I am to You? Or have I already been replaced? I'm struggling to live life without You. There isn't a day that I don't think of You. I'm really heartbroken. I don't know what else to do, what else to say. It hurts crazily. I've realised the true meaning of heartache. My heart really does ache.

害怕你和我之间的一切，到最后都会只是回忆

害怕
林俊杰

我突然觉得有点怕
爱跟生活的一切
你以为我知道怎么拆开
我们的想法落差

我的爱 是说停不能停
已经弄的不能说是曾经
也可说出我是错的
爱未曾变成真的
也没藏到多少你需要的爱

我不再
去执拙我是谁
我是我在夜里掉的眼泪
也可说我看不开的
为你我能做的 竟还没让你相信是爱情
左右你我

而哭泣都是因为爱
也逼自己不掉泪
让往日不只是有你
这网里我也撑着
拼了命的守着

你知道我有多么的想你吗？

孤单北半球
欧得洋

用我的晚安陪你 吃早餐
记得把想念 存进扑满
我 望着满天星 在闪
听牛郎对织女说 要勇敢

别怕我们在地球 的两端
看我的问候 骑着魔毯
飞 用光速飞到 你面前
要 你能看到十字星 有北极星作伴

少了我的手臂当枕头 你习不习惯
你的望远镜望不到我北半球的孤单
太平洋的潮水跟着地球 来回旋转
我会耐心地等 随时欢迎你靠岸

少了我的怀抱当暖炉 你习不习惯
E给你照片看不到 我北半球的孤单
世界再大两颗真心就能 互相取暖
想念不会偷懒 我的梦通通给你保管

The Wait

Looking at the time, You should be back in Singapore by now. I called You but it wasn't You who answered. It was him. I wanted to lie to myself, saying it was your dad. But deep down, I knew who it was. At that moment, it was like I was on a rollercoaster. As the rollercoaster went down, my heart plunged. And the rollercoaster never came back up. So did my heart. To be honest, it's really nothing. But I still felt this way nevertheless. I ask myself why.

I talked to You. You seemed in a hurry to put the phone down. All I got was to ask how You were doing and a "I'll call you back later". I waited for the next 2 odd hours. I checked my phone. No missed calls or smses. I realised it was not going to happen. I didn't want to wait anymore. But, I did still. From 2 odd hours, it became 7 odd hours.

The wait is slowly becoming unbearable. It eats away at my heart. Images of You and him keep flashing through my mind, slowly driving me to the brink of insanity. I can't sleep, even after drinking and popping pills. Those images keep me awake through the night. Tears flow from my eyes until I fall asleep.

Have I become insignificant to You already?

Transit @ Frankfurt

Your flight from New York to Frankfurt is 8 hours long. I've been waiting for your call. It's almost 430 am now and I'm still waiting. Questions keep flashing through my mind. "How are you?", "How was the flight?", "Is everything going well?". I can't wait enough just to hear your voice to know that You're safe and sound.

You finally called a few minutes later. It was such a relief to hear You, to know that you're safe and sound. It was worth the wait, even if I had only managed to talk to You for 8 minutes. I'm glad You still remembered me, still remembered this person halfway around the world who's missing you.

Bon voyage. You will be home soon.

Your Flight Home

You're flying back to Singapore this evening. Sincerely hope your time in North America has been fruitful for You. Soon, You'll be back in the comfort of your family and him. Be happy. There's really nothing much more I can do for you. Take good care of yourself. I wish you all the best in your future. Ouch..

Vancouver

This was the most amazing memory I've ever had. I can't describe it in words. It was just so beautiful that even the most eloquent of writers would tarnish it with his words. I enjoyed every minute, every second I spent with You. I'll carry and treasure that memory for the rest of my life. I'm glad it had You in it.

I thank God for this memory. I wish I could create more with You. Will You give me that chance? Silently praying and hoping.

Before Vancouver

I just can't believe I will see You in a short while. After You left Winnipeg, I thought I'd perhaps not see You again. I really just cannot believe it. I miss You so much. I can't wait to see You, can't wait to hug You and not let go.

Time, please fly alittle faster for me. Just this once. My love awaits.